There is an app that you can upload videos to in 1 – 1.5sec intervals and capture snapshots of your month. I’ve really been interested in capturing the minutia of day to day life and this app really bundles it in a fun slice of life video. Try 1 Second a Day for yourself!
As I’ve mentioned, I like using tarot cards to focus my thoughts and reflect. I’ve been kinda weepy since my period started and this week has been very stressful at work, so some internal searching was needed.
Whats my current status? The Queen of Cups reversed suggests some dissatisfaction or feeling of disconnection from your spirituality that has arisen in your life. This may be as simple as a growing realization that you need to find your path and get more involved on a meaningful level with others in your faith.
Whats going on with my fertility? The Six of Swords reversed indicates that you are trying your best to move on from the past and make the important transition that you know you need to make. You are trying to physically and mentally move from any past experiences which you know that have not been helping you. It is clear that you are experiencing some challenges in doing this and no matter how hard you try to leave the past behind you, it keeps catching up with you.
So what’s next? The Knight of Wands reversed indicates delays and frustration, getting nowhere, and feeling anger at obstacles and at being denied what you want to have. If you are starting to get frustrated with a lack of action, you need to consider the consequences before doing something. You may also find yourself feeling frustrated that there are certain factors impacting your situation that you feel you cannot control. Again, remind yourself that there WILL be things that you can control and change as you want to.
I think this gives me some stuff to think about. I want to develop a regular exercise routine and mediation habit to help reduce my stress and center me. I’ve been carrying the tightness in my shoulders and not sleeping well.
IF you are curious about my tarot deck, its the Erotic Tarot of Manara Cards. Check it out!
This year, I want to push myself to read more and I’d like to invite others to join me. It’d be fun to have others to discuss things with!
Starting next week, I’m going to start reading Sword of Destiny. So this is your notice to go buy it and join me in reading! Its from the comes after The Last Wish from the Witch fiction series and it follows the previous collection also in short stories. Last Wish is a quick read if you want to jump into that first (or here is short summaries, but this is way less enjoyable). See you next week!
For this week: 1 Page at a Time
I’d love to recommend this fun journal. Each page offers a simple prompt. Sometimes it encourages you to doodle, write or expand of things going on in your life.
You are supposed to use it daily and so far, I’ve found it a nice way to decompress from the day and exert a small piece of creativity I might not else squeezed in.I’ve been drawing in different nearby objects from each time I use it.
This was the last time I used it. I was in a pessimistic mood, so I’m going to try again. I think the future is looking bright.
The first time the concept of “Schrodinger’s uterus” crossed my mind, I thought that I was so clever. A quick google search confirmed I wasn’t the first to think it at all. The concept is that after ovulation but before you get a positive pregnancy test (or start your period), you both are and are not pregnant. I’ve been stuck in this place for a long time and its been exhausting; full of highs and lows.
I feel like my uterus is just a terrible student. It’s late to the scheduled period and it can’t pass any tests. This whole experience of trying to get pregnant after half a lifetime of trying not to is weird. When you are on birth control and trying to avoid your fertility, pregnancy is this risk that lurks at every sexual encounter. Once you open yourself up only to find that month after month its not that easy – you feel kinda silly to have spent so much worrying about it.
But comparing now to the past doesn’t matter. Maybe in your younger years you needed that diligence to protect yourself and were more fertile, or maybe right now – no matter how scientific, diligent and calculated – all the pieces of what needs to happen to conceive just didn’t align. Its just really hard to know which piece of the puzzle you’re missing with you can’t see all the pieces that you did successfully connect.
I was hoping on Thursday to release this blog. My intent was to be able to successfully announce on the 18th day past ovulation, I finally got a positive pregnancy test. But it came back negative. So I was excited that on Saturday, I’d be able to release this blog and successfully announce our happy news. But we both know that its Sunday, and neither of those previous blogs came out. So here we are. I’m 21 days past ovulation.
I’ve taken 4 pregnancy test (three different brands). Statistically, home pregnancy test would be 99% accurate at this point in testing my hCG levels, but alternative fertility indicators (cervix high and closed, weird muscles spasms in my stomach, headaches, period being over a week late) are still promising. So I have a Schrodinger’s uterus. I both am and am not pregnant until I have evidence that proves one way or another.
The sad thing is that I am as convinced now, as I was on the last 3 attempts, that I really am THIS TIME pregnant. And that means nothing, because I remember how sure I felt right before all the other times my period started just a few days late and all the negative tests that had truthfully tried to warn me not to get my hopes up.
I had wanted to share good news with all you of my personal success after this long weird road I found myself of of not easy fertility, but I’m still on it. I’m trying to find this silver lining in that maybe a story of not easy fertility is important to tell too. Whether I get pregnant at the end of this 42 day (and counting) cycle, its still common struggle many women face. We aren’t all the fertile myrtles of the world. Many of us have these questions that doctors can’t really explain back to us and so we are left to wait and see. Hoping the next attempt is different; that all our puzzle pieces line up and we finally pass the test.
Wish me luck in the coming week, I’m hoping for resolution. – Meg
I try to cook one tasty meal a week that I can divvy up across 5 days as either the main course or a supportive role to my packed lunch. This week, I got a flyer from Fred Meyer advertising a bunch of meals with pineapple! As the weather gets warmer, I find myself feeling adverse to warm foods, so a fresh salsa with pita bread sounded great!
Really simple recipe can be thrown together in under 10 min. Using 1 can chopped pineapple, 1 can corn, 1/2 bunch of cilantro, 1 jalapeno, 1 red bell pepper and 1 small tomato with the spices, walla!
Since I got a bread maker for Christmas I’ve been really expanding my repertoire of carbs I can make. Pita bread was one of those attempts that really wowed me with how easy (and tasty) it is. You can premake the dough and chop into pita sized portions so you can whip up fresh a pita or two the day you plan to eat it! Great for snacking and meals alike. ❤
I love the Oui Yogurt cups and hoard the glass containers they come in. They are pricier then I would like, so I’m going to explore alternative tasty treats that I can put in the glass cups. The Royal Flan instant mix cost the same price as 1 yogurt, so great start on this plan. This week I have 5 delicious cups that including the milk, cost 33 cents each and are roughly 100 calories!
Like I mentioned that life has been stressful. In times of high anxiety, I find the tarot deck helps me focus my thoughts.
Pulled a reverse 9 of pentacles which reads on Biddy Tarot,
“The Nine of Pentacles reversed can also indicate an over-investment in work. You are working long hours at the detriment of your personal life. This is a good time to return to a natural setting (e.g. a forest, beach, mountain or lake) to restore your energies and rejuvenate yourself.
Similarly, the reversed Nine of Pentacles suggests that you may need to release some of your focus on needing to sustain particular income and a particular standard of living, especially if this is coming in the way of other life priorities such as family or relationships. You may think you need the best of everything but really, all you need is your family and loved ones around you. Do not be afraid to take a cut to your income for a short time or to reduce your hours at work, even if this means that you have to eat rice and beans each night for a week to make up for it! It is important that you are focused on what is most important to you. Finances may need to come second and while you need to at least have food on the table, there may be some areas where you can cut back and reduce your dependence on material wealth.”
Since work is whats stressing me out, this hits close to bullseye. I know that I need to find balance on top of figure out how to solve my work problems (but on the clock and not let it consume me). This is partially why I do want start this blog back up. Me and Neysa always intended it as a potential enterprise to sell hand crafted goods as an alternative revenue. If you see adds – its because I plan to monetize this blog once we gain some momentum. I also research store options. I don’t really want to jump back into etsy, but if we make something cool – I want a way to put it out there. If you have any recommendations, I’m all ears!
Back to the reading, I do want to reconnect with my passions. I’ll blog about what I do, because its what I love. Here’s to consistently striving to make positive changes in life.
IF you are curious about my tarot deck, its the Erotic Tarot of Manara Cards.